The bitcoin bubble’s real losers

A once-in-a-lifetime chance has emerged to invest in SchadenfreudeCoin — a decentralised digital token pegged to the smugness of No-Coiners who were never sucked into the ailing cryptocurrency fad.

The highly scalable, next generation, disruptive new coin comes with the backing of social media celebrities and provides the perfect hedge against the declining value of bitcoin. Hand over your bank details now.

It’s a joke, but only just. Those of us accustomed to the daily lorry-load of cryptobabble emails can attest that it is scarily close to the real world of PR foisting untested and unregulated financial products on to naive investors. And given the levels of crowing from the crypto holdouts, a SchadenfreudeCoin could even be quite lucrative.

The stream of asinine crypto promotions is waning, however. It will probably soon dry up altogether, given the asset class’s dreadful recent run. From a peak of about $20,000 per coin in December, bitcoin — the biggest of thousands…