If Blockchain History Were the Original Star Wars Trilogy

Episode IV – A New Hope

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away… or maybe 2008 just feels like a long time ago.

It is a period of civil war. Rebel cypherpunks are under the leadership of 900-year-old Jedi Muppet Satoshi Nakamoto, who managed to create secret plans for improving the galaxy’s financial infrastructure by removing the need for trusted financial intermediaries. The plans involve THE BLOCKCHAIN, a mystical force that binds the galaxy together.

These plans exploit a tiny flaw in the Empire’s ultimate weapon, the Death Star Lehman, an armored space station with enough centralized power to destroy an entire planet’s financial system. The battle station’s weakness is that it maintains fractional energy reserves that may be insufficient under an onslaught of leveraged debt instruments and small spacecraft. A direct hit on this tiny womp-rat sized regulatory oversight could cause a chain-reaction that would threaten the entire galaxy.

Pursued by the Empire’s…